As parents we are always making comments to our young adults:
“You should not/should be doing this”
“You’re too old for this”
“Act like an adult”
The mother of all threats; “If I gotta tell you one more time….”
I cannot be the only threat-a-parent. We want them to make adult decisions, take responsibility, grow, and become productive contributing adults….until they do, then we’re feeling all hurt and uncertain about life as we know it.
I mean really, we are SO proud when they can stack up their accomplishments all nice and neat; this is what parents worked for! Prepared them to do, we put in long hours! GO OUT AND BE PROSPEROUS! However, we are also a bit sad with every success because they are a step closer to not requiring our help. Here I am speaking for everyone; I should say one-step closer to not requiring MY help.
After threating Chris about a week ago regarding usage of our bank account for her personal purchases without informing me, admittedly this threat has been in circulation for about 3 years now; the “one more time and your name is OFF the account” spiel, she had a surprise for me. Well, this chick calls me at work, random call, and says to me “I’m going grocery shopping and I open up my own checking account yesterday”. My silent reaction was “Whoa….WHAT?” My heart dropped…she goes and opens up her own checking account! SHE MADE AN ADULT DECISION! I should be jumping up and down right?! I should be UBER excited “I can finally balance my damn checking account!” She is feeling accomplished by opening the account, and me? I’m all in my damn feelings thinking, sadly I should add, smh “oh no…another step further from needing me.” So, I am sure you are asking “What is wrong with Lisa?”
No matter what we say to our kids when it comes down to it, I am SO not ready for her to COMPLELTY grow up, I just want her to make responsible decisions, have an amazing life…. but still need me! I know I sound ridiculous but I am clinging on to dear life here lol. I absolutely am! I have been told repeatedly, let Chris go, but it’s so hard letting the OB (A.K.A the Original Baby) go! I am not looking forward to the day when I come home and I am less one kid because she has moved on to start her adult life. Although I have told her on many occasions when she moves out, she HAS TO stay local. Who am I to expect her to comply? Who am I…. Hello, I am Ms. Johnson, Delusional Johnson.
Letting go can be so emotional but it happens, slowly but surely. Damn.
The upside….she will make it easier for the other kids….when Charlee is ready to leave home, in about 17 years, I will be holding the front door open saying “ See Ya” right? Well, in a perfect world… but in my world, as Charlee will be the last I may have her under lock and key. Good Luck Charlee, sounds like you’re g oing to need it.
And there it is lol!