what am i looking for from life? spirituality

USA, Utah, Salt Lake City, Portrait of young woman looking away

What are you looking for from life? I struggle with this question, lord knows I do, and I believe I am not the only person who is experiencing this struggle.  Life is so frantic, who has the time to really ponder “What am I looking for from my life”? But, it’s an important question, and we must find the answer and work to achieve our goals.  Easier said then done right? We finally realize what we want and it seems impossible to achieve.  But nothing worthy is ever easily achieved, the fight for it makes the end result so much more joyous.

Let me share what I’m looking for –




  1. to have some clarity of mind;
  2. to feel each day more nearer to my inner self, be centered;
  3. to know myself;
  4. to have a greater level of spiritual joy that raises me above our human burdens;
  5. to live with intention and purpose;
  6. to be in the ocean of love and wisdom;
  7. to get a meaningful glimpse of the spiritual good side of everyone I come in contact with;
  8. to learn how to meditate when you do not have a lot of time to do so;
  9. to know how to abandon the shallower world around us to reach greater levels of peace;
  10. to really feel alive. I know that feeling. It doesn’t matter if you feel sad or happy there is a richness to it that is sometimes missing and I feel a dullness;
  11. to feel connected and not separated and lost would change my life;
  12. to just live;

Are You Growing Series, #6 – Get Emotionally Honest







Get Emotionally Honest

We have to let go of numbing our feelings and begin expressing our true feelings. Dont attempt to hide or numb your feelings by shopping, eating, and drinking to avoid the discomfort, sadness, and pain. If we are emotionally honest with ourselves we wil get to know our “true selves” on a deeper level.

Of course connecting to ourselves on a feeling level is for many of us, much easier said than done, but with practice, we can learn the language of emotions and become skilled at recognizing feelings when they arise, identifying them, experiencing them, and ultimately, honoring them through our communications and /or actions.

I believe we would be better off individually and as a society if we would be more emotionally honest. This could also help us  become more self-accepting which could lead to better life choices.

Loving v. Virginia


Richard and Mildred Loving,
of Caroline County, VA
 June 12, 1967, In Lovingv. Virginia, the Supreme Court rules that prohibiting interracial marriage is unconstitutional. Sixteen states that still banned interracial marriage at the time are forced to revise their laws.
The case was brought by Mildred Loving, a black woman, and Richard Loving, a white man, who had been sentenced to a year in prison in Virginia for marrying each other. Their marriage violated the state’s anti-miscegenation statute, the Racial Integrity Act of 1924, which prohibited marriage between people classified as “white” and people classified as “colored“. The Supreme Court’s unanimous decision determined that this prohibition was unconstitutional, reversing Pace v. Alabama (1883) and ending all race-based legal restrictions on marriage in the United States.
The decision was followed by an increase in interracial marriages in the U.S., and is remembered annually on Loving Day, June 12. It has been the subject of two movies, as well as several songs. Beginning in 2013, it was cited as precedent in U.S. federal court decisions holding restrictions on same-sex marriage in the United States unconstitutional, including in the 2015 Supreme Court decision Obergefell v. Hodges.

You Don’t Need a Guru; Life is Your Greatest Teacher

“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what taught you.” ~Unknown

I read a tribute Elizabeth Gilbert wrote for Richard from Texas who features in her book Eat, Pray, Love. It got me thinking that our teachers in life can take many forms and not always an obvious ‘traditional’ teacher.
In Eat, Pray, Love Liz went looking for a guru in India but learned a whole host of lessons from Richard, who was probably there seeking out the same guru for his own answers.
We can go through life looking for gurus, trying to learn from the experts, and seeking out those who seemingly have the answers to our questions, but what we often overlook is that the answers are there all along.

We don’t find the answers when we find the guru; we find them along the way, as part of our journey.

Sometimes a guru may help us uncover the answers within, but there is also so much more that those we meet and our experiences along the way can teach us about life’s journey.
The lessons can come from our kids, our partners, our friends, our enemies, and most of all from ourselves.
We can be our own teachers if we allow ourselves to learn from our mistakes.
A monk once told me there are no mistakes, only lessons, and we are a product of the lessons we’ve learned. As Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Without the mud there can be no lotus.”
We grow stronger from our challenges; we learn or to grow from these experiences, and this is what makes us who we are.

I’ve traveled around the world to various retreat centers, sat on many hill tops, and consulted a few gurus, but the answers I sought I found within me when I arrived home, stopped searching, and sat still long enough to notice them.

This led me to rebuild my life around my passion and fill it with meaning and purpose. I became a yoga teacher and was thrilled to be doing a job I loved, but in the early days I struggled. Marketing was not my strong point and the numbers for my classes were low, sometimes non existent.
As I sat in an empty room one night with my lesson plan, feeling defeated, I thought to myself, “What can I learn from this?”
I try to ask myself this question often, but especially when times get tough. Life is not always easy. Things sometimes don’t go to plan, and often we don’t succeed until we’ve learned a lesson and tried again, failed more, failed better.
I have learned valuable lessons from people who’ve come in and out of my life (often for only fleeting encounters). I’ve learned both from failed relationships and those that have evolved over different parts of my life to be stronger now than they ever were.
A friend’s betrayal taught me about forgiveness. A friend’s love has taught me about trust. My nephew taught me the importance of making time for play, and my pets taught me the power of unconditional love.
Depression taught me that it’s through the cracks the light gets in, and burnout taught me about my real priorities and the value of self-care. A house fire taught me about attachment, and a homeless man taught me to be grateful for the little things I have.

Success is a product of learning from experiences and failures—a product of our life, our experiences, and the people we meet along the way. This is the stuff that shapes us and builds our world, it comes from within, not from an expert or a guru.

Yes, we have formal teachers we can learn from—our parents, our schools, our gurus, those we aspire to and admire. But never underestimate the power of the lessons ‘ordinary’ people will teach us, the likes of Richard from Texas and indeed the lessons we learn from ourselves and our experiences as we navigate through life.
So take a moment and ask yourself what you can learn from your current circumstances and the people in your life. Whatever, or whoever, you’re struggling with could very well be your greatest teacher—and a stepping stone to greater peace, purpose, and happiness.


About Jess Stuart

After a successful career in the corporate HR world Jess decided to follow her passion in Health and Wellness as a coach, speaker, and author. A qualified yoga instructor who has trained in Buddhist meditation and mindfulness, living and working in many countries Jess draws her life experience into her work to share the principles of health and happiness.