Let me share what I’m looking for –
- to have some clarity of mind;
- to feel each day more nearer to my inner self, be centered;
- to know myself;
- to have a greater level of spiritual joy that raises me above our human burdens;
- to live with intention and purpose;
- to be in the ocean of love and wisdom;
- to get a meaningful glimpse of the spiritual good side of everyone I come in contact with;
- to learn how to meditate when you do not have a lot of time to do so;
- to know how to abandon the shallower world around us to reach greater levels of peace;
- to really feel alive. I know that feeling. It doesn’t matter if you feel sad or happy there is a richness to it that is sometimes missing and I feel a dullness;
- to feel connected and not separated and lost would change my life;
- to just live;
Get Emotionally Honest
We have to let go of numbing our feelings and begin expressing our true feelings. Dont attempt to hide or numb your feelings by shopping, eating, and drinking to avoid the discomfort, sadness, and pain. If we are emotionally honest with ourselves we wil get to know our “true selves” on a deeper level.
Of course connecting to ourselves on a feeling level is for many of us, much easier said than done, but with practice, we can learn the language of emotions and become skilled at recognizing feelings when they arise, identifying them, experiencing them, and ultimately, honoring them through our communications and /or actions.
I believe we would be better off individually and as a society if we would be more emotionally honest. This could also help us become more self-accepting which could lead to better life choices.
For more information on Richard and Mildred Loving please utilize the following links:
“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what taught you.” ~Unknown
I read a tribute Elizabeth Gilbert wrote for Richard from Texas who features in her book Eat, Pray, Love. It got me thinking that our teachers in life can take many forms and not always an obvious ‘traditional’ teacher.
In Eat, Pray, Love Liz went looking for a guru in India but learned a whole host of lessons from Richard, who was probably there seeking out the same guru for his own answers.
We can go through life looking for gurus, trying to learn from the experts, and seeking out those who seemingly have the answers to our questions, but what we often overlook is that the answers are there all along.
We don’t find the answers when we find the guru; we find them along the way, as part of our journey.
Sometimes a guru may help us uncover the answers within, but there is also so much more that those we meet and our experiences along the way can teach us about life’s journey.
The lessons can come from our kids, our partners, our friends, our enemies, and most of all from ourselves.
We can be our own teachers if we allow ourselves to learn from our mistakes.
A monk once told me there are no mistakes, only lessons, and we are a product of the lessons we’ve learned. As Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Without the mud there can be no lotus.”
We grow stronger from our challenges; we learn or to grow from these experiences, and this is what makes us who we are.
I’ve traveled around the world to various retreat centers, sat on many hill tops, and consulted a few gurus, but the answers I sought I found within me when I arrived home, stopped searching, and sat still long enough to notice them.
This led me to rebuild my life around my passion and fill it with meaning and purpose. I became a yoga teacher and was thrilled to be doing a job I loved, but in the early days I struggled. Marketing was not my strong point and the numbers for my classes were low, sometimes non existent.
As I sat in an empty room one night with my lesson plan, feeling defeated, I thought to myself, “What can I learn from this?”
I try to ask myself this question often, but especially when times get tough. Life is not always easy. Things sometimes don’t go to plan, and often we don’t succeed until we’ve learned a lesson and tried again, failed more, failed better.
I have learned valuable lessons from people who’ve come in and out of my life (often for only fleeting encounters). I’ve learned both from failed relationships and those that have evolved over different parts of my life to be stronger now than they ever were.
A friend’s betrayal taught me about forgiveness. A friend’s love has taught me about trust. My nephew taught me the importance of making time for play, and my pets taught me the power of unconditional love.
Depression taught me that it’s through the cracks the light gets in, and burnout taught me about my real priorities and the value of self-care. A house fire taught me about attachment, and a homeless man taught me to be grateful for the little things I have.
Success is a product of learning from experiences and failures—a product of our life, our experiences, and the people we meet along the way. This is the stuff that shapes us and builds our world, it comes from within, not from an expert or a guru.
Yes, we have formal teachers we can learn from—our parents, our schools, our gurus, those we aspire to and admire. But never underestimate the power of the lessons ‘ordinary’ people will teach us, the likes of Richard from Texas and indeed the lessons we learn from ourselves and our experiences as we navigate through life.
So take a moment and ask yourself what you can learn from your current circumstances and the people in your life. Whatever, or whoever, you’re struggling with could very well be your greatest teacher—and a stepping stone to greater peace, purpose, and happiness.
About Jess Stuart
After a successful career in the corporate HR world Jess decided to follow her passion in Health and Wellness as a coach, speaker, and author. A qualified yoga instructor who has trained in Buddhist meditation and mindfulness, living and working in many countries Jess draws her life experience into her work to share the principles of health and happiness.
If you are Single don’t let February 14th put a hiccup in your happiness…now is the time to affirm your choice. Continue to give February 14th the importance it deserves, it’s still YOUR DAY! Celebrate your Wisdom, Beauty and GROWTH!
May I suggest…
Since Valentine’s Day is all about love, spend the day loving yourself. It makes perfect sense. Do whatever you want, be it pampering yourself with a lavish mani-pedi – alone or with some girlfriends, or staying home, ordering take out and binge-watching every movie your celeb crush has ever made. Or binge-watch a full season of your favorite TV show on Netflix. After all, you have no one to please but your own self. Make yourself feel special and pampered!
Have Dinner with Friends!
Go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant with other single friends. Treat yourself to some place really special, and get a delicious dessert – you don’t have to share it!
Plan a big dinner for single friends, and spend the day shopping and cooking. Sometimes, all that chopping and sautéing can be totally therapeutic.
Be Someone’s Valentine!
You know you’re not the only person who might be feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day, right? Why not take that extra cash and buy a bunch of roses or colorful balloons? Give to friends and co-workers. You’ll be making a lot of people smile.
And for those of us who believe in love one day….figure out what you want out of love; it usually happens when you least expect it.
Happy Valentine’s Day!